Transcript of OJ in the Vegas hotel room

OJ Simpson: Hello, it's room service (while knocking on door)

Alfred Beardsley: Come on in.

Bruce L. Fromong: Hey, you guys are not room service. Get out of here. And can you take these towels with you?

OJ Simpson: We are not room service or maid service. We have deadly weapons including firearms. We are conducting a self-organized sting operation intended to retrieve sports memorabilia and simultaneously search for Nicole's real killers.

Alfred Beardsley: Please, we are innocent sports memorabilia dealers who have obtained troves of trivial and ridiculous items semi-legally in some cases. And while these items should, by all that's right and good, be entirely worthless, we plan to sell them to tremendous losers for actual money.

OJ Simpson: And, where were you the night Nicole and Ron Goldman were savagely murdered?

Alfred Beardsley: I don't remember.

OJ Simpson: Aha!!!!

Alfred Beardsley: Wait, wait. I do remember. I was at a baseball card convention in Cincinatti. I have hotel receipts that can prove it.

OJ Simpson: That proves nothing - the real proof will be in the pudding. Now try pudding on this glove.

Alfred Beardsley: (trying on glove) It doesn't fit.

OJ Simpson: Okay, that is irrefutable proof you're not the real killers. But, our self-organized sting is not over. We also have a moral duty to confiscate any questionable sports memorabilia.

Bruce L. Fromong: What exactly is a "self-organized sting operation?"

OJ Simpson: We are sort of like the A-Team. Did you ever see the A-Team? Great show. I actually got two-call backs for the Mr. T role, but in the end they said I wasn't black enough. We'll see who's black now. Now hand over the Spizzle Memorabizzle.